Is My Depression Showing?

Lately, I am struggling. It feels like the air is thick with it, a fog of dense depression. This time, I also fight with my own romantic, fairy tale self, because I need to make changes, not just fantasize about them. So this battle is a bit tougher than previous times; not only the empty, aching nothingness, but also the knee-jerk reaction of escape within my imagination are against me. 

I am not hopeless. 

I am not helpless. 

I will prevail. 

Depression lies. 

Remember that: Depression lies.

Depression LIES. 

Back again

Road trip was cut drastically short as my bones, muscles, and depression ganged up a bit. there were a few dodgy moments before I accepted that my plans needed to change, but here I sit: alive. 

Expletive Deleted

Pros: 

I'm on a road trip!

My friends are wonderful!

My car is running great!

I've seen and hugged two dogs!

Cons:

I can't stop crying

my body betrays me every moment

at 38 I've the strength of an 83 yr old

there is no end in sight

my pain is constant

Selfish:

I don't want to end my trip early but it seems I have to, if I want to get back to home base. 

Remember: 

Depression lies. 

Depression lies. 

Depression lies.