Well, sheeeeeit. Been a while.

Another list, because I love you all and I need sleep:

1. We're living in the house, it is adorable and awesome and half-painted because my hub is a crazed maniac when it comes to house-setting-up-ness.

2. Still having mild panic attacks and more insomnia, but things are getting slightly better. Purchased a SAD-rated light bulb because, damn.

3. People actually come over to visit and it is really strange and also kind of lovely.

4. Hub got me the best goddamn gift a gal like me could ask for (since he already gave me himself, that is): he got me an old-fashioned re-pro record player with a HORN and EVERYTHING.

5. I started a new blog, over at http://stinkywishes.blogspot.com/ and if you like it, please let me know. If you don't, you can let me know that as well, and maybe I'll give a shit.

6. If I don't get off of this fucking laptop soon I will never sleep.

So with that, I bid you buona sera.

Brainfarts

 - I need to stop living my life as an "abled" person and really get my teeth into being this disabled person. With a negative implication in the very word, however, it is difficult to embrace it. Examples would be the resisting of naps (even though they make my body MUCH happier), waking at 5am and staying awake all day (which increases my pain levels) and this whole "lifting boxes around because we moved and I'm a neurotic little weirdo" thing I've gotten into this week.

 - I also need to stop hearing those judgmental voices from my past; the ones who said I was just trying to get attention, the ones who dismissed me as a hypochondriac, the one who didn't sign up for this. Fuck 'em.

 - My wheelchair is my way of getting around. It is up to ME to decide how I'll rock that, and if I want to do 360s in the supermarket or dance to the muzak, I damn well will. There is not a goddamn thing wrong with yelling "wheeee!" when I"m rolling down a hill. Again, if I'm going to wheel myself around this earth, I should OWN it and WORK it.

 - Starting my days with homemade hot cocoa is not a bad thing. I can digest it, somehow, which is more than I can say for my morning tea routine.

 - Not everything is about being disabled; sometimes it's just nice to be about hot cocoa, or a good book, or the sunshine.