Today is a hot, sweaty, short-tempered kind of day here in the suburbs of Philly. This is nothing new. What is new is that my aunt called me an hour ago, frantically wanting to know exactly where I was at that moment. As there is nothing gained in lying to a nun, I told her the truth: I was laying on my couch with my cat, watching "The Pick Up Artist". She then told me that my grandmother received a call from someone pretending to be me, and that "I" was in jail in Niagara Falls with several girlfriends for having drugs in the backseat of the car. Now, the first thing that should have tipped her off is that I don't actually have any female friends that I would go with on a madcap adventure. The second thing is that if I was in trouble with the law, the last person I would call would be my grandmother, who is the sweetest little 87 year old on the planet and has already has heart issues. So why am I bloggenating this tawdry tale? To tell you, my very few (if any) readers that there are scumfucks out in this crazy world who call the elderly, trying to scam them out of their bank account information. My gran is smart enough to not have given anything to the jerk on the phone, but she was plenty scared and in tears when I arrived at her house no less than 5 minutes after my aunt called me with the story.
I try to be a peaceful person; I do my best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to think that this was just a wrong number gone horribly wonky but I can't, because I'm a cynical human being. I was unable to trace the call, but if I had been able to, you can bet your sweet bippy that I'd be driving to this asshole's house to beat the ever-loving shit out of them with my cane. My family is everything to me, and for someone to think that it is perfectly okay to scam my grandmother makes me want to scream and rage. RAGE.
The point of this is to beg you to talk to your grandmother, your grandfather, your mom and dad if they're elderly - hell, talk to any and every adorable old person you know - and warn them that strangers are fucking shitstains and will try anything to get their money.
Of course, you might want to tell them in less incendiary terms.
