Back around that ol' mulberry bush of testing for MS! Last week I saw my neurologist and this week I'm to schedule my MRI and blood work again. My brain doc did the normal reflex tests on me and whoopsie! When he tapped my right elbow, my left arm shot out and almost punched him! That gave me a much needed laugh. Prior to the appointment, my anxiety decided to throw a big ol' party and I had to be xanaxed up until the day of, which was a calm day. Weird. My brain is a weird ol' gal.
Since my brain doc didn't say anything about MS one way or the other, my depression hamsters started telling me that I don't really have it, that I'm just imagining it, that it really is just the "worst case of fibromyalgia" my docs have seen, etc, but it then occurred to me that he can't say anything until he sees my brain scan. There were dots in my brain before, and now we've just got to see if they've enlarged. His grunts and raised eyebrows made me believe those damned hamsters, but this morning I realized that he could just be extra concerned for my health and unable to admit it.
I hope that's why he was so grunty. Getting diagnosed, finally, would be a huge load off of my shoulders. Telling myself it's 'just the fibromyalgia' only makes me angry and sad, because there are so many things going on with my body lately and they're not things I've experienced in the years since my fibro diagnosis, neither are they things my brother has experienced since he was diagnosed even more years ago. SO! It's either MS or I've got goblins inside throwing raves.
Let's hope it's MS. (Goblins probably don't pay rent.)
Since my brain doc didn't say anything about MS one way or the other, my depression hamsters started telling me that I don't really have it, that I'm just imagining it, that it really is just the "worst case of fibromyalgia" my docs have seen, etc, but it then occurred to me that he can't say anything until he sees my brain scan. There were dots in my brain before, and now we've just got to see if they've enlarged. His grunts and raised eyebrows made me believe those damned hamsters, but this morning I realized that he could just be extra concerned for my health and unable to admit it.
I hope that's why he was so grunty. Getting diagnosed, finally, would be a huge load off of my shoulders. Telling myself it's 'just the fibromyalgia' only makes me angry and sad, because there are so many things going on with my body lately and they're not things I've experienced in the years since my fibro diagnosis, neither are they things my brother has experienced since he was diagnosed even more years ago. SO! It's either MS or I've got goblins inside throwing raves.
Let's hope it's MS. (Goblins probably don't pay rent.)
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