Surrealism in Daily Living

Think of the most stressful, demeaning experience you've encountered wherein strangers decided your future. A small room of authority figures, all squeezed in together too tightly, adding a cumbersome wheelchair and a borderline-panic attack. Recipe for disaster, right? They'll treat you like a drain on the system, a street beggar, less than human, less than domestic animals...

Or they'll surprise and astound you with their courteous welcomes and warm smiles. They'll make little jokes to ease the tension and relax you before the proceedings. They'll believe you. They will read every scrap of paper in your files and say, with no sarcasm or insult, that you really can no longer work. That you did work, very very hard in fact, but you are unable to continue because you are obviously disabled and will never improve in physical health.

That you deserve the benefits you will receive.

Then, after all of the questions and incredulity over the length of time you've been waiting and fighting for your rightful benefits, they'll wish you a great day and send you on your happy and secure way.

Surrealism, I tells ya. Juxtaposed with a whole lotta holy shitballs, Batman.

There is no doubt in my mind that I'd have given up on myself if not for the unwavering support, love and understanding from my best mate (who is fortunately also my life mate and husband). He has never once given up on me. He's delighted to see me so validated and joyful, and is valiantly putting up with my awful puns as well as the groaner jokes. Love him.

36

Once upon a time, a girl lived through a childhood with two faces. One was bright and sunny, filled with love and laughter. The other, however, was dark and scary, rife with villains and bogeymen out to break her. They almost succeeded, too! They beat her and betrayed her trust, told her lies and pushed her around, but the worst things they did are too horrible for this little tale, so we shall move on to when the girl was not quite so little anymore. She survived the bad faces because of the good ones, because they loved her unconditionally and without limits. They taught her to love and to be strong, no matter what came along.
Sometimes, though, the good ones weren't there. Other times the girl was ashamed or scared to tell them what the bad faces did to her, and so she was alone with her thoughts. Often. Far too often, in fact, until one day her fragile mind began to crack. Her decisions were reckless and impulsive, her life spun out of control, but it didn't matter to her. She had decided that her life was no longer worth living, that she was no longer worth anything...she made her plan and saved what little money she would need. She stopped eating and sleeping and took on the appearance of a ghoul, or a china doll with the wrong bits put on. She felt alone. Empty. Hollow. Then she felt nothing.

Then she got help.

And now, she is 36 years old and living a life she only daydreamed about.

Happy birthday to me. <3