Letting go of the shit piled up in my head and my heart. Tons of cliches and memes say to "forgive and forget," and "move forward from your anger," and I'm sorry, but it is fucking tough to forgive some things. You know the tropes; abusive relative, abusive partner(s), authority tossers, and so on. Sure, I can forgive the kid who tried to knock me down, but a. we were ten, and b. I knocked his ass down flat. But can I so easily forgive the beaters? The molesters? The repeat offenders? As far as that last goes, I should forgive myself for being so gullible for so long. But that's the other side of letting go; forgiving oneself must also occur, and that's the really difficult part, for me. Progress is being made, yes ma'am, but in my mind's eye I am climbing a mountain that reaches to Jupiter equipped with only a plastic trowel.
I keep climbing, though, learning what I can and, yes, dropping the shit that has taken up residence in said head and heart for far too long. I suppose that, as most of those monsters-of-my-past are...well now, what are they, exactly?
Scraps. Remnants. Refuse. Trash. Garbage. Putrescence.
Trash day's a comin'.
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