Seems I'm Back Again

When I said previously that I wanted to blog more often, I didn't actually think I would, but here I am, back again, bitchin' up a storm.

Today's bitchin', however, is nothing new. Well, okay, maybe it's a teensy bit new, but not really. I'm still mostly immobile, still bored out of my gourd, still trying to stave off the cabin fever crazies. The present immobility is possibly due to the water therapy, but who knows when it comes to this body. I was x-rayed last week and will be MRI'd this week, with a probable visit to an orthopedic surgeon in my near future, but no one actually knows why my knees are so dang stupid. Yes, I've been diagnosed with patello-femoral syndrome or whatever the kids call it these days, in both knees, but people with this knee-fuckle-stravaganza got it by running. A lot. I ran very little. Skateboarding, however, can also cause it, so there you go; further payback for being the one girl skater in my town. People with this disorder also are successfully back up and running (or skating, natch), after a week or two of rest, ice, compression and elevation, but my knees don't dig on RICE, yo. Instead, they prefer to be moving every ten minutes to relieve pain that never actually goes away. They're bitches, basically. But they're my bitches, and if I knew how to fix them I so fucking would have by now!

Truth is, they're un-fixable. Un-surgery-able. Un-changeable in a positive way; they'll get worse, I'll end up in my wheelchair full time, and at this point that's it. Until science catches up with me, that is, and when that happens (note: WHEN, not if), I will dance my ass off for as many hours as I possibly can, because dancing is the joy I miss the most.

I make desperate pleas to my socially networked friends to come over and hang out, watch movies or play games, but none of them ever actually do it, except for one amazing person and her absolutely distracting kids (whom I love to the ends of the earth). As I sit here, day after day on my couch or in my bed, I wonder what happened to the people who said they'd be here for me? What happened was life; it gets in the way of living sometimes, and as much as I'd like to join them, I can't, and it is frustrating. To say the least. I can't get angry at anyone, can I? I can't allow myself to be irritated with my friends for not coming over, right? It wouldn't be proper courtesy for me to get snippy when someone once again bails on hangtime for whatever reason... right?